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Addiction has no age

6 days sober at just turned 21 and all I get is laughed it which makes me want to drink again. People continuously tell me, you’re to young to be addicted. Nope. I have a problem and I’m fixing it. Currently have a broken hand after my wild 21st, mind you it’s only just healed after my last bad drunken Night so I decided that its time to put my glass up and quit, nothing good has followed me from drinking; always something danger that can land me in a lot of trouble. It’s actually been a real struggle trying to get past each day, worrying that I’ll just break but I have been pretty strong in resisting going out and partying or drinking a bottle alone. I’m in a position where i Need to be treated for bipolar disorder but refusing too for some stupid reason, I know I need help it’s just getting help that is setting me back. So hopefully starting with alcohol Which is a major trigger will help me deal with my illness. Then there is so much stress from family issues at the moment literally all I want to drink even more to numb around me and every where I look;alcohol, but still refusing to drink. The only silver lining is that I’m not touching any Other drugs/smoking so I’m proud of myself and that I know I have a problem so I’m not going to places with friends where I know I could drink even out for dinner at this early stage is too hard for me because who doesn’t like a glass of wine with pasta or a beer with steak, I tell my close friends this and I’m so happy there is some support instead of being a joke when you tell someone you’re an alcoholic... worst part is getting support from my family, I’m just a laughing stock too them “you’re young” “thats what kids your age do” nope again, binge drinking is one thing, but when you mix emotions of a rough upbringing/current stress and alcohol together you’re bound to wind up with a 21 years using alcohol more than just Friday to Sunday, try every day... I’m honestly glad that god opened my eyes now whilst I’m young, each week is an accomplishment. Just wish he’d open others eyes about addiction not having an age. It happens and it’s hapNing to me...


Hope

Hope, it’s all I can hold onto now. Hope is such a strong emotion, it can beat fear and generate strength. I am 5 days sober from my drug of choice, and have been trying to get clean for a year and a half. The more I try, the more hope I have that I will make it further and further than before. I have realized I can’t do this on my own, and have found only two people willing to help me through it all. They stopped me last night from relapsing and I owe them my life. I owe them my sobriety and with them on my side I have hope. Hope to be sober and stay clean. My main goal is three months because that’s the longest I’ve ever gone. My current goal is getting to one week because I know three months is daunting. After 1 week it will be 2 weeks. Talking about my problem to the two I trust helps, I hope you find a way out soon, and please don’t give up. You are loved and you are worth it. Just have hope. 


Day 1

today is the start of my future. I am embarrasse, ashamed, and feeling like a failure. I need to admit my wrongs and talk about it and stop thinking " I'll just take one more pill, then I'll quit." It's time to stop once and for all 

 


Afraid of relapsing

Every day I get stressed to the max.... I have depression and anxiety. Which is seemingly well managed with a one a day pill.... The fix all.... But unfortunately it doesn't do that.  It only puts a bandaid on it which even if you replace that bandaid it will fall off at some point.  It always does, the glue will only last so long.  Which brings me back to that fear, the fear of going down that all to familiar path. The one where the devil says heeeey girl it's been a few good months let's take a stroll down memory lane and shake things up a bit, what do y'all say? All those memories Flood back of the feeling of being numb and feeling as if nothing is wrong.  Feeling like you aren't broken,  just for a little while. That high,  that rush,  that invincible feeling your brain craves everyday because if you did just little bit,  you could clean house. If you do just a little bit it will take away all the pain and suffering all the thoughts until that runs out and then you need just a little bit more.  However that's the problem,  you'll always need more. Always want more.  

I've started this sobriety thing over multiple times,  this current time I am at 4 months. I have gone longer and I am disappointed in myself for the relapse. I take full responsibility and am fully aware of the pain it caused not only me but those around me once the high was gone.  Had I not slipped up I would be 1 week shy of a year. I have been over a year before,  I will get there again.  I will get to 2, then 3 and so on.  

I don't know how to talk about my problem with those close to me so here I am pouring my heart out to strangers....  I wish you all well in your journeys,  here's to days turning to months,  months to years, and years to decades.  


@ admit you're F***ed Up

Try treatment. This is a disease.


@ Back at Day One

Try getting out to face to face AA meetings. See a therapist about your relationship with your husband and your alcohol use. Ask the therapist if you shout try alcohol treatment.


Step 1: Admit you’re f***ed

I’ve tried quitting 1,000 times. I go into every week telling myself that I’m going to focus on my work, my kids, my husband, running and doing yoga—and as soon as Tuesday rolls around, I’m driving home from work thinking ”I feel great. This calls for a glass of wine.” Then that turns into 2 or 3 glasses (or more), which usually turns into a cigarette or 3, then I can’t run the next day because I can’t breathe. Then the weekends come and it’s not uncommon to have 8-10 drinks in one night. I crave those old days of getting loose and goofy with my friends... but even when I’m with them, it’s not the same. I don’t want this anymore. I want clarity, exercise, quality time doing shit that actually matters.  I have a horrible relationship with alcohol. 


Back at day one

have been trying to stay sober for years haven’t been able to make it a long period of time unless I’m pregnant.. I made it two weeks a week ago then felt extremely bored with all my free time and went out and drank. Last night  I didn’t want to go to my husbands friends party because I knew it was a huge drinking party. I told him I didn’t want to go and he yelled at me and told me how boring I am now etc tiI agreed to finally go. Of course I couldn’t handle all the booze all over and drank way too much. Back at day one again. Sad and disappointed I M going to try and put my all into recovery this time I attended an online meeting this morning for the first time and am going to write out a list of sober things to do. Thanks for listening!


15 years drinking since last meeting

I am going to give sobriety another chance. 


@ Still not too late

Don't pick up the first drink. It's the first drink that kills you. Get some treatment. Go to an AA meeting. Don't do this alone. Follow that first drink throughto the reason why you stopped drinking in the first place.