my battle

My struggle with addiction started 15 years ago. I never saw it as a problem I always thought I had it under control. I got pregnant with my first child in 2015 I never stopped. I was pregnant again in 2016 I still didn't stop. I got pregnant with my twins in 2017 and I still did not stop. my twins meconium wastested when they were in the NICU. it was positive for meth. CPS case was opened however I kept my kids. I still didn't quit using meth. I passed every drug test with flying colors but I did not use my own urine. my case was closed January 24th 2019 and a new one was open the same day. that same day my kids were taken. I struggled at first to get sober but now I've been sober since February 24th And I'm headed in the right direction. I'm in intensive outpatient treatment and I'm enjoying it. I attend NA meetings, I'm trying to make it a goal to attend one daily. I don't have a lot of support but I have four babies plus another on the way And they need me. granted my kids were not enough before to get sober so I'm sober for myself first and then my kids my kids deserve a sober mom. I never thought I would hit the 19 days I'm currently at on March 15th 2019 sober. but I'm doing it and I plan to continue.

Wow. Good job on changes

thank you

It is a good day when I remember how awful my consequences were. I use that memory to work a diligent, daily recovery program. Especially in the morning, my process is to open the notification which gives me the daily message, see if I can relate to it, then click on my rewards page to see where I stand, read the reward message, then click on the Forum page and try to respond to various messages. Thank you for the great reminder, and thank God you are on the right Road. Oh oh, I forgot to say that I also say a daily prayer which contains the first three steps of the 12 Steps, asking my higher power to keep me sober because I cannot do it alone. My higher power consists of God, and principles like honesty, open-mindedness and willingness, and anything as I go throughout the day that keeps me sober. It is my higher power working when I use this app, and when I write messages like these to talk to you. It is my higher power working when I read stories like yours. you can pick any higher power you want of course, so long as it restores you to sanity. You just helped me. I also try to get to face-to-face contact. The best place to do this of course is at 12 step meetings.