created by: Lu 4 years, 10 months ago
Does love can make you alcoholic and drug addictive? Does the necessity or being love make you a different person? Does a person believe that love exists? Does love behind life?
Ask about the four absolutes at a meeting. They are love, purity, unselfishness, and honesty. I don't think love makes us an addict. Actions motivated by love help us stay clean and sober.
I was afraid to attend to the meeting. Please tell me more about the four absolutes. I definitely want to know more. Thanks you for your post.
Read the SoberTool message, "Practice the Four Absolutes." Doing it helps us stay sober. They are part of a process we learn at meetings. Peace and Light
I should try. It may not be relevant, but today I told someone that I do not want to drink alcohol and do not accept a drink. Surprisingly, the person continued talking about all the topics except what I said. By the way, it is the same person who is directing me at this moment and who offers me Drugs every week.
Then, why my love doesn’t help me to be clean an sober? Why my love is taking me in opposite way?
One of the Golden Principles says "A.A is a selfish program." At first, think of me in the first, second and third place, sounded a cold selfish, almost a selfishness. Over time I realized the great quality of this "selfishness." I spent my life seeking something out to fill a huge void, which until then I had believed to be Solitude. I sought in the approval of others, in the love of others, my wife, fill this emptiness. It was a desolate and insatiable void. There was no love or material possessions enough to fullfill it. This "selfishness" that the program preaches is a preparation to love ourselves. There is no way to love others or to provide well-being to anyone around us if we are not well. No one is responsible for our well being, but ourselves. Over time, that emptiness, that pain gave way to Peace and Well-Being, until it disappears completely. That emptiness that I thought was solitude was the absence of myself. Delegating the responsibility of my well-being to third parties almost destroyed me. There is a phrase that says, there is no material or loving goods that fill a spiritual void. It's a summary of what's been happening to me since I joined A.A, it's not easy, it's not fast, but it works and it's worth it. Day by day I become a better version of myself. I met at the meetings and I fell in love with a person who I left years ago, despised and hurt,
MYSELF. I learned from the pain and suffering, when I joined AA I began to learn from the love of my AA’s companions.
Thank you Jasand. I look forward to your comments.
Jasand, thank you, there are many elements that make me feel hope in this program after I read your comments.
The A.A will give you a toolbox and the companions will tell you how each came out of obscurity and how They handle day after day with adversity. The A.A’s Program and the meetings together will help you find your own way, Will help you rebuild and wake up! When I entered my life it was colorless and hopeless. In the 1st year I said that in the toolbox I got a box of crayons to color my life. Today I say that I have won a magnifying glass to focus on positive events, however small, and this magnifying glass helps me to see the "color" in black and white. I suggest you always remember the Turtle, one day at a time, calmly, but with a certain course. When you find that you are not evolving, look back and you will notice clearly from your evolution of yesterday and today. Each one has his time. If you can from time to time become a little better than you were before, this has great value. I completed 3 years and 2 months, but this does not guarantee immunity. If I do not stay alert, I run the risk of the same brother and sister who joined today or has been in the fraternity for 40 years. What keeps me alert is the meetings where I remember day after day that I am an Alcoholic and I remember where I do not want to go back. I'm rooting for you
It’s Friday today and I supposed to be have 7 of being sober, however I went out and I got a cocktail and one and a half beer. I could control and I didn’t want to drink more. Currently to drink those drinks took me more than 2 hours. I don’t know if I have to be proud of it, but I’m feeling better to be in my bed and sober. :)
From the Big Book: page 31
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Wishing you the best
Thank you for your words. I’m feeling supported
You OK?
Hey people! I’m super proud of my progress and your progress. Still here. :)
Awesome Lu! Keep checking in. Are you using the SoberTool mobile app everyday and following it's suggestions?
Hi! I was doing most of the days and the. I started to felt better and I went out and happened again. I drunk and try to enjoy and I did, but then I came home, I felt guilty and I want to start again. I’m not feeling I was not consistancy. :(
Look at the first step of the 12 steps. Your last post indicates that you are powerless over alcohol. You need to do the remaining steps to not drink. Get a copy of the Big Book.