Nothing is more painful than chronic relapsing. Going in and out of your 12 step program is conducive to chronic relapsing. It is a lot harder to "get" sober than it is to "stay" sober. Constantly making decisions about whether AA (your recovery program) is right for you is confusing, frustrating, and painful. It is far better just to quiet your restless mind and stay in your recovery program without questioning the philosophical worthiness of it.
Don't judge it, do it. Follow your Sponsor's directions and do the program without questioning or quibbling.