Don’t let the bird that landed on your head build a nest

You can't help it if someone throws you for a loop. No matter how much you think you can control your feelings, no matter how well adjusted you think you are, no matter how well you like the 12 steps, every now and then something will happen that will upset or threaten to overwhelm you. The key is to not let that bird build a nest in your head. People, places, and things cannot control your emotions. They are just emotional triggers. Remember, you make yourself feel a certain way in response to the trigger. You can also quickly change how you respond. If the problem causes resentment, pray for the person who you think is causing the resentment. Remember to ask God that His will be done, not yours. And most importantly, try to help someone who is new to recovery. By getting out of yourself and helping another, you will feel less resentful and angry and you may recognize that your problem is not as bad as the other person's. You may gain perspective. Your attention will be re-focused. By doing what it takes to get the bird off your head, you will avoid finding yourself saying, "If I get drunk, I won't be able to think about it."


What's a good way to get that bird to fly away? One way is to try to recognize your feeling, and then to try to change the bad feeling to a positive feeling. To do so, you can start by using this app. You can also ask yourself if the trigger is worth being upset about. You can also try applying the 12 steps to the feeling. First, admit that you are powerless to handle it without help. Then, turn the problem over to a Higher Power. That Higher Power may be a consultation with a sponsor, a therapist, or your God. Maybe take an inventory and see where your own sensitivity may be contributing to the problem. If you can determine what the character sensitivity or issue is, tell someone else. If you can't determine what it is, discuss the situation with someone else. Try to find your defect and not the defect in the person you think is causing the problem. Once you find the defect, ask God to remove it.