If you are an addict, you have a spiritual problem that your drug of choice will not cure. You must realize this or else you wouldn't even be considering discontinuing using. Give the spiritual solution a try even if you feel you currently have philosophical differences with 12 step programs. If you are trying to stay sober, you cannot rely on medications like suboxone or antidepressants to keep you sober. So don't abandon a recovery program thinking that medications will keep you sober. Medications might decrease the high you feel from using, but they won't keep you from either abusing the medication or discontinuing it because you will still be spiritually bankrupt as a result of your addiction. In my practice, I see so many miserable opiate addicts on suboxone. Most (if not all) relapse. Many end up mixing methadone with benzodiazepines. I also see a few happy addicts on suboxone who diligently practice the 12 steps. I also see many more simply not taking any medication and diligently working the 12 steps and feeling great. The bottom line is using any drug does not take away the emptiness that was the basis for your using.
Get to a meeting. Practice the 12 steps. This will restore your good Spirit and consequently make you happy and grateful to be sober.