Maybe it's the right way - for them.
Just because it isn't the way you would handle the situation does not mean it's the wrong way. Anger and resentment are fueled when we say, "What a lousy way to do something." For example, a woman did not want to date a recovering addict. The woman responded to the addict's second request for a date by texting, "I'm busy." This response, coupled with the woman's attitude and other comments, caused the addict to reasonably infer that the woman wanted nothing to do with him. He felt confused over whether or not she rejected him just because he was a recovering addict or for some other reason. Instead of letting his initial anger cause him to relapse, he discussed the situation with his Sponsor, accepted that his feelings were hurt and concluded that he would have preferred a more direct response from the woman but that he did not need a more direct response. He didn't jump to conclusions. He didn't become paranoid. He didn't have to know why she didn't want to date him. He also realized that her response was right for her even though it was wrong for him. He was freed from the perilous chain reaction anger, confusion and resentment cause. Most importantly, he did not allow the woman's behavior to throw him off course in his recovery. He stayed sober and later formed a healthy relationship with another person. Particularly with regard to family interactions, feelings can be easily hurt because one family member perceives the right way to do something differently than another family member. Can you think of ways in your life where something seemed right to someone else but wrong to you? Remember that we cannot control other people. However, we can create healthy boundaries to not allow another's sick behavior to control us. Furthermore, we can exercise unselfishness and understanding to allow others to be themselves. This keeps us from over-controlling and losing our sobriety and serenity.
To-do:
Don't judge situations as being right or wrong just because you would handle it differently than someone else. When you feel angry toward someone because you feel they wronged you, discuss your feelings with a trusted advisor. Today, make a mental list of the angels that have helped you in your life.
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