Say the word "issue" slowly a few times. Pause slightly between the first and second syllable. Say it until you hear the phrase, "It's you."
Remember when you thought that everyone else was the problem? How easy it was to point the finger at your overbearing parents, your obnoxious sister, the red light that always seemed to appear just as you were reaching that intersection? In recovery, we know that the parents, sister and red light are going to do what they do. We can't change them. But we can change how we "act upon" dealing with them. For example, we can seek to understand that our parents may have had a terrible upbringing such that they have become programmed to lash out. Free of resentment, we can then seek to create healthy boundaries or discuss without anger ways we can deal with them. With that red light, we can temper our anger with patience. Whatever the issue is, we need to focus on what we are doing and seek to change that, rather than focusing on reasons why they should change.
Today, I will remember that an issue requires that I look at what I am doing rather than what the other person, place or thing is doing.