Day 49 Off Meth

I live with my boyfriend and used meth for 20 years heavy.. Today is day 49 and my 1st crazy out break happened I flipped out . Can’t really say what about I have no idea just started screaming at ppl like a drill Sargent ... lasted about 15 min then I was fine how stupid I think to my self now... every day I wake up thank the lord for a sober day say it’s ganna be a good day and they have been. I’ve been telling myself constantally I don’t need to buy myself something nore do I need to go shopping constantly everyday and that that’s very selfish so I have made great efforts to try to not be selfish and to not go shopping my boyfriend said I’ve done an amazing job and he’s seen patience in me and that is has been along time and that he saw my “freak out moment” growing slowley the last day & 1/2 but not to be discouraged because maybe this is normal and I’m still sober I didn’t even think about using... I don’t understand why I freaked out or even st what but I am not going to let that discourage me my brain is really fucked up from all the heavy years of IV use but I didn’t even think of using. I don’t know but I feel amazing I made my amends did a 10th step and restarted my day I don’t care what anyone thinks I believe I’m still making progress and want to use this experience as a learning one I went 48 days without a out burst that’s progress !! I feel proud of myself and choose to remains willing and teachable thank you higher power for my trials please contNiue to fill my heart with your love and grace and send your angels to be with me thank you for another sober day..


To-do:

Don't pick up the first drink or drug. Just don't.