Have Had Enough

So, I have been a daily drinker for years. No drama. No blackouts. No crisis. A few light beers working in the garden. Cocktails on weekends. Then I had a bad accident. Fell on ice. Shattered ankle. Many complications. 5 surgeries. Blech. Medication after medication, which all made me feel like shit. Then I found myself drinking more. To manage pain. Self medicating literally to escape intense nerve pain. Of course, alcohol is BAD for nerve pain, and I found myself in this cycle of going nowhere, gaining weight, which is very bad for my leg, and feeling exhausted all of the time because you don’t really sleep well when you drink. So, here I am, without the stories of losing everything, divorce, regrets, and simply choosing sobriety as a spiritual and physical path. It is not easy because I still have the pain in my leg and the anxiety of a disability, but booze made it 10 times f****** worse! That’s my experience. I am here to find support, but I can’t say that I share a lot of the deep struggles some of you have been through. Your stories break my heart, and your strength lifts me up.


To-do:

Sounds like you have had enough consequences to me! Sounds pretty bad... "daily drinker," "weight gain," "sleep disturbance," "booze making anxiety worse," and what leads most of us to what to stop drinking regardless of the external consequences: "SPIRITUAL BANKRUPTCY." The antidote to spiritual bankruptcy for me was practicing the 12 steps. I had not lost everything either, but that doesn't matter. The elevator only goes down. BUT I was at a total spiritual bottom. Today I am so grateful to be connected to others to you, to recovery, to love rather than fear. Today, I am not going to listen to my addiction voice which tells me I should keep using because I wasn't bad enough.