Step 6

The Big Book says that God wants us to be "happy, joyous, and free." At tonight's meeting, we read step 6 in the 12 by 12. Step six says we became entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. What motivates me to do step 6? I want to be happy, joyous, and free! I want relief from the emotional suffering that eventually leads me to drink. I have learned that it's not money that makes me happy. It's not feeling superior. It's not controlling others. It's not even getting my way. Rather, it's the elimination of my character defects that truly gives me joy. Therefore I am entirely ready to have God remove my defects of character. God, for me, is a powerful loving spiritual force that exists for me but maybe not for everyone according to his or her belief. This force I can find at AA meetings, the reassuring smile of a stranger, my puppy's eyes, my being still and just breathing. I must also remember that none of my character defects have redeeming value, that they all contribute to my own personal emotional suffering.

Hi there. Thank you for recounting the thoughts of your meeting, very interesting reading. I’ve always hidden from life after a bad upbringing and always “managed” by relying on my inherent good nature and relative intelligence. I’m 65 now with 2 failed marriages behind me. Alcohol was initially something I could rely on to see me through difficult situations and I found myself repeating these same behaviours year after year. I didn’t change the way I dealt with hardships so nothing changed. Same old same old. I concentrated on others rather than on me, seeing myself as a lost cause. It isn’t too late to change my behaviour, to see things in a more positive light. To be grateful for what I have and what I may achieve if I don’t see alcohol as the escape mechanism I always have and stand up and be the good man I know I am, flaws accepted. It’s never too late. Thank you again for your generous insights.

Drinking is but a symptom. The real disease is in me. Unless I change how I react to life, the disease will not be arrested and eventually the symptom (drinking) will reappear regardless of how motivated or resolved I am not to drink. So the issue becomes how do I change how I react to life? I have had to change physical, mentally, and spiritually through daily practice regardless of where I was or the circumstances. Physically, I have had to decrease unhealthy foods and increase exercise. Mentally, I have had to be patient where I had been inpatient, forgiving where I had been resentful, tolerant where I had been judgmental, reasonable where I had been extreme, easy going where I had been ruthless, compassionate where I had been selfish, honest where I had been a liar where I controlled that which I could not, I let go. Vitally, I learned to change my catastrophic, irrational , fearful thinking to reasonable thinking. Spiritually, I have had to pray, meditate, and most importantly practice humility and connectedness where I had been egotistical and isolated. The mental and spiritual reconditioning has largely resulted from my living the 12 steps on a daily basis. Through this change, the symptom of drinking has been kept at bay for over 31 years. You have the ability to make this physical, mental, and spiritual change. The reward is a life of freedom, serenity, and joy beyond which you can imagine. Please try it. Don't sell yourself short on this the most important decision of your life.