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My first day and I'm scared I cant fight my brain

created by: Scott2018 5 years, 3 months ago



So today is my first day for the millionth time after 18 years of drug abuse. I am also dealing with being post op from shoulder surgery, lost my job due to my injury, and workmans comp denied my claim. I have no money coming in and I can't go back to being a CNA for 6-8 months because of the injury. I can't get out of my own head. I wake up and intend on not having the thoughts of worthlessness and like I'm a failure, but it hits my mind and then BAM! I'm so far in all I want to do is use so I don't feel anything. I'm afraid that because of my own brain I am going to fail again.


by: Scott2018 5 years, 3 months ago

Whenever you start the stinking thinking, say to yourself, "Empty your mind." If your brain says go easy, go west. Especially remember "First thought wrong." Keep reading SoberTool messages and repeating the sayings to yourself. Get out to an AA or NA meeting to connect. Keep using this forum. Know that you are unconditionally loved.


by: Grateful 5 years, 3 months ago
replying to Grateful

Thank you for your kind words. It means so much especially right now. I'm going to use every tool I can to make this shot at being clean stick. I don't think that I will make it through another relapse


by: Scott2018 5 years, 3 months ago