Lapse or relapse

I stood in a Rehab for almost 2 months. Today would be my 64 day. I"m a cocaine addict and it is mixed with obcessive sexual activity, in a promiscuous way, in general with prostitutes. 2 days ago I felt again, in the same way. Today I'm going quite early to bed, and trying to reconnect myself with recovery. I'm tired of all of that. I want to stay clean and sober. I didn’t share with nobody about this issue, because I don't want to go back to the clinic. I must to stay clean in the real world.

I have just returned from Rehab and was really well. But my girlfriend entered in a trip of thoughts about our relationship, that seems some jealousy or low self-esteem. It wan not good for my emotional balance and I don't if it could be a trigger for what happened.

64 days is a huge accomplishment. try to stay positive and going to bed early is a great idea. I have found that the main trigger for me is my husband and his attitude towards things when they dont go smoothly or how he wants them to go. I quit smoking last year and now am on day 14 of not drinking. I have found new ways to cope with him as and not let someone else control how I feel. a lot of the time it's me walking away. nothing about any of this is easy. good luck and stay strong. you are doing great.

I would like to suggest you that firstly find nearby NA meeting and take a sponser. Its must and it will help you a lot in your recovery. God bless you, keep coming back.

thanks