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Why do I compare my life with others and wish for more?

created by: BaD4LyF 2 years, 6 months ago



I don’t know why I do it…..I wish for more! I feel like it’s not enough and compare. Im happy with what I have but then I’m not. I get depressed about it as well….


by: BaD4LyF 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to BaD4LyF

Comparison is the thief of joy! Someone will always have it better than you, but someone will always have it worse. If you must compare, compare yourself to how you were doing yesterday, an hour ago, a month ago. If you are improving or maintaining your behaviors and attitudes in the circumstances life throws at you, I’d say you’re doing pretty damn fantastic.


by: Leah1992 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to Leah1992

Wow, that couldn’t have been better said! Ur amazing! I need u in my life! Thank you!!!!


by: BaD4LyF 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to BaD4LyF

Thank you! I like to think I give good advice, but I have a hella hard time taking it! Lol


by: Leah1992 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to Leah1992

Well said, Leah!


by: anonymous 2 years, 6 months ago

Addiction is a disease of MORE. When I was drinking, I was always thinking about the next drink. Today I like the Serenity Poem, "Not better than, not worse, comparisons are a curse." Check out the full serenity poem in SoberTool search.


by: Grateful 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to Grateful

I’ll do that for sure, thank u so much!


by: BaD4LyF 2 years, 5 months ago

im a bit like that i will always put myself last on the list when i know deep down sometimes i need the help.i dont like putting on people but now realise sometimes i do need other peoples help and accept their feelings,thoughts and opinions.i trully believe now if people want to help then its worth listening.


by: Bubbles 2 years, 6 months ago

Also you have to remember other people's lives are also an illusion. You are only see a tiny bit of it, so who knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Either way, you are only you and can only strive to be the best and happiest you that you can. If you work on you, you'll won't have the time to notice others and compare.


by: Indiecat 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to Indiecat

That’s well said and amazing advice! Thank you Indiecat!


by: BaD4LyF 2 years, 5 months ago

"Acception is the answer to all of my problems today." If you have a Big Book, check out page 417 and read those two paragraphs. They help me out a lot with exactly what you are talking about.


by: Inubyte 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to Inubyte

Please tell me what a Big Book is? I’d love to read what you’re talking about!


by: BaD4LyF 2 years, 5 months ago

indiecat thank you!!that comment on other peoples lives is just an illusion because some people only see what they want to see.we all need to believe in ourselves more and believe we are good people no matter what,as long as we are helping each other and not causing any crime then there is hope!


by: Bubbles 2 years, 6 months ago

I think this urge to compare is a natural human tendency. Definitely not something odd or unusual. It is one of the most persistent issues I've encountered in my own sobriety journey and it keeps sneaking up me. I think it's an unhealthy version of something that is actually useful. Like, if I observe someone who is currently better at something I'd like to improve at, recognizing this allows me to see who I can better learn from (about that particular thing, at least). If, however, I just compare and decided I simply want what others have, that is most definitely an unhealthy version of that.

I also think social media wreaks havoc with a lot of our tendencies. This one in particular. With social media, we end up comparing ourselves to projections rather than people. Which is bad enough but when you add the fact that so much of what we see is false, the result is almost any comparison by us is going to be detrimental.

In short, don't beat yourself up. This is normal. Recognizing it as negative is awesome.


by: NoStinkinThinkin 2 years, 6 months ago
replying to NoStinkinThinkin

You’re awesome, I like what u had to say! Thanks for writing 👍 I like your advice and words of response!


by: BaD4LyF 2 years, 5 months ago

It's the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Lots of good stuff in it.

In addition, I have found that taking time off of social media has greatly improved my outlook on my own life as well. Well, it was more like forced time off since Facebook went down 😂 but I had a great day and felt so good about myself and what I got accomplished! I went ahead and decided to just delete my social media apps and live my life. I noticed I subconsciously compare myself to everyone on there.


by: Inubyte 2 years, 5 months ago