Having trouble with a “higher power”

Twelve weeks yesterday, through support from friends, sober groups on fb, therapy and meds.
Checked out an aa meeting on zoom and I’m having trouble with the god aspect and the higher power. God and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms these days, so the god talk is a little much for me.
Going to check out another meeting, but hoping someone here has some advice on how to get passed the god stuff?

Don't sweat it. Keep working through the steps, including finding a sponsor at some point. And keep an open mind about such things.

A higher power can be anything you choose , you are using the things you listed as your higher power to keep you sober ATM ,call it what you want God is easier than trying verbalising your own concept . aa is not religious although some members may be .
I realised early in my sobriety the necessity to find a higher power my life run on self will had failed. I can't rely on meetings my sponsor or fellow members ,what happens in the space between meetings or when my sponsor doesn't answer the phone, i depend on my higher power which is within me and has always been, i was blocked by calamity, pomp, and worship of other things but the 12 steps have given me freedom from my ego orientated self . The most important thing I've learnt is there is a God and I'm not IT.

AussieDrunk is right on.

I LOVE everything you have to say in these forums! I always look for your name and every time you say the most perfect thing in response! Thanks for being YOU and for being a part of this forum! You help so many people with your words, especially myself! I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks this! YOU ARE AMAZING AussieDrunk! ❤️❤️❤️

Thankyou very ❤ much I never thought I would see the day that I could actually help someone else .
I was s o consumed by the bondage of self and can still be ,when I shift from self seeking to trying to help others my problems dissolve it's pretty obvious what is and always has been wrong with I'm self centred to the extreme .
I'm grateful to be a sober alcoholic and I'm grateful to be part of this forum

it took a while for me to figure out the higher power thing, someone pointed out to me that a higher power was already working in my life seeing as I was here/alive, I just kept going to meetings doing the sober thing and after awhile it all fell into place, just keep doing the sober thing it'll work out just the way it's supposed to

Try smart recovery - it’s like AA minus the religion part

Anything that you seem to go to when you are down can, for you, be your higher power. Some people lean towards God. That doesn't mean you have to do it too. I consider my 3 daughter's, that I had lost, as my higher power. They welcomed me back and accepted that I had a disease and are now treating it. When I'm having a bad day I think of what I lost while drinking and how much I've gotten back since sobriety.

Thanks everybody.

Hey. The HP was a major struggle, especially here in the South USA where they often talk about God a lot & the meeting closes with the Lord’s Prayer. But there are a lot of other good things in AA. So maybe don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. 😉 If you find that you can’t make peace with it, there are a lot of other options to try. Smart Recovery, Refuge Recovery, etc. Sometimes there are even Buddhist or Atheists AA groups, which obviously take the focus off God. The main thing is to take yourself out of the God seat.

I agree with MeSoberAF. I live in the UK now but being from Texas the whole HP thing niggles at me.

I get the, "it can be anything" but God is still mentioned a lot and...yeah it makes me uncomfortable.

try Smart Recovery and Dharma Recovery is another great one.

important to believe there is a power greater than just myself because I could not stop by myself. AA defines God as power greater than myself. AA allows me to choose anything, not only a religious God. In fact, the 12 traditions discourage outside controversy like religion.

That said, I happen to live Jesus. He is one of the powers greater than myself that restores me to sanity / Step 2. You can choose whatever works for you according to the principles of AA. AAA is very expansive and inclusive. But one must read the literature and go to the meeting to actually know what's going on and leave one's own preconceptions at the doorstep. Love and care about you.

I found a modern version of the 12 steps with all the God and other religious language rewritten in secular terms. I walked out of one 12 step meeting when I saw a crucifix on the table.

I just want to thank you all for taking the time to reply, I appreciate all of your advice.
Four months now, finding my way slowly but surely.

Congratulations on 4 months Tajj!!