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Gutted

created by: Rosiebee 2 weeks, 4 days ago



Relapsed at 60 days just two days shy of reaching 2months just feel very disappointed in myself.. I gave in to temptation when I got the car..I obviously was not ready or strong enough for that responsibility so soon maybe.I don’t know just feel Iv let myself n everyone down..need any help and support please 🙏


by: Rosiebee 2 weeks, 4 days ago
replying to Rosiebee

I like going to AA meetings. Thought I'd never say that. Feel safe there.


by: Surfer12 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Rosiebee

Hey I think your on the right path, I understand u might feel disappointed but the good thing is that u realized u made a mistake and now u can better yourself.


by: JasmineA 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to JasmineA

Ur right it’s just difficult to overcome feelin disappointed but I kept busy all day cooking n doing chores feel better tonight and taking some ‘me” time now hope ur doin well too


by: Rosiebee 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Rosiebee

Yeah I can understand what you mean. Cooking is so therapeutic I feel that’s great I’m very proud of you. Today is my day 1 after last night I had an argument with my boyfriend it was so big he almost threw my dog out and that scared me. I feel like alcohol makes me an angry person. I start off fun and laughing but then anything will set me off. Last night the bartender wanted to do last call so I thought I would tell it out for these last two customers but the the women was so rude to the bartender I started to get involved and insulting her and it got so bad I now feel embarrassed and I we are staying in the same area where the bar is so I will see that women again. I feel stupid embarrassed and I really hope I don’t feel the anxiety tonight to have a drink. I have to train my brain to understand that alcohol is poison to me and I turn into a demon when I drink. I’m so loving when I’m sober I think the reason I act on anger when I drink because I have a problem expressing myself when sober I hide my feelings and I rather just let it sit inside me and I will rather keep quiet but when I drink I guess everything just comes out it’s insane to me. I want to find a therapist too because I think therapy helps me understand my feelings and emotions. I also think I suffer from BPD but I haven’t been diagnosed fully.


by: JasmineA 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to JasmineA

Feel the same slot of emotions affecting how I feel n how I react when I take it! We can talk sometime if u like


by: Rosiebee 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Rosiebee

Yeah I’d like that!!! Thank you I actually feel kinda better we’re talking about these things. Wanna tell me about yourself? Where are u from?


by: JasmineA 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to JasmineA

Jasmine, reading what you said about anger emerging when drinking because you keep it to yourself while sober resonated so much with my experience. you were able to put inti word so many things I went through that lead to me wanting to stop drinking. If you want to stay in touch during your recovery, id like that.


by: Karolane 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Karolane

Hey Karolane, I’m glad we have this app to help all of us come together it’s hard to explain what we feel and go through to some people who don’t have the same problems we have. It can be so frustrating and sometimes very draining to a soul when someone doesn’t understand where your coming from and they just dismiss it as in oh get over it. I’m here I’ll be checking up on this app very often I feel like this can help in so many ways.


by: JasmineA 2 weeks, 2 days ago
replying to JasmineA

37 from n Ireland you? How r u feeling today?


by: Rosiebee 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Rosiebee

Oh nice I’m from NY and I’m 30. I’m feeling better today I didn’t slip last night and I’m proud of myself. I do feel a little depressed with some personal issues I’m having at home. But I got a healthy smootie today and I’m glad to hear back from you. Any plans today?


by: JasmineA 2 weeks, 2 days ago

Pick yourself up. Today is a new day and your still able to take a breath. We are all faulted. 60 days is amazing, and you know you can do it. I always play the tape through, it's always a bad ending. I'm no expert by any means, just trying to get through another day sober. Keep going, you are worth it and deserve the life being sober brings! Have a blessed day.


by: Irm 2 weeks, 4 days ago

You are doing great Rosiebee, how you pull yourself up and start again and go at it again, there is so much belief in you and i believe that you can put it together. You made me see what slipping means and let me know about playing the tape forward. I am very glad that you are here, and I always think to myself, i bet Rosie read this.... wonder what she's been up to, keeping busy again i suppose, reading another book about recovery... ..you can do it! 2 months is great, i didn't get through 16 days at first, and then a week was but a dream, and am not that far now either,  but i think of it as a slow and steady journey, some ups and some downs, day by day,  keep walking. If I get stuck, i know where to go and who to ask... think you do too. :)

Watch a comedy, some feel-good movie, have some icecream, and have a good nights sleep, tomorrow is a new day :)


by: Vita2037 2 weeks, 3 days ago

thank you for the update Rosiebee! good to read you are keeping busy, be kind to yourself too 💛


by: Karolane 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Karolane

Thankyou Karolane 🤗


by: Rosiebee 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Karolane

Hope ur keeping good keep in touch 🤗


by: Rosiebee 2 weeks, 3 days ago

I've had to restart my counter more times than I care to admit. I'm over 7 months clean now. Remember, those who continue to try are those who eventually succeed.


by: Markcope1981 2 weeks, 3 days ago
replying to Markcope1981

Great advice 🤗


by: Rosiebee 1 week, 3 days ago
replying to Markcope1981

I love this message !


by: DA0523 1 week, 2 days ago