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It’s Day 1 for me

created by: Sue_Camarena 1 year, 3 months ago



So I’ve had the intention to stop drinking for a while now, probably years.
My husband is a big party boy so every time I try to stop we have some commitment on the weekend and I FAIL.
Today I’m hungover, I hate myself for this.
I think that telling my husband that I’m going to quit drinking will help, but I’m afraid of being judged by him, and terrified to accept to him that I have a problem, that I don’t like who I am when I drink and that I need to go back to my healthy lifestyle so I can be a better person to me, to him and specially for our 2 year old son.
Should I tell him? He’s a drinker as well, so I’m afraid as well that maybe he’ll reject my new commitment because it would reflect on his problem as well.


by: Sue_Camarena 1 year, 3 months ago
replying to Sue_Camarena

If you are ready and want to stop you will have to tell him. I think very clear boundaries and expectations are needed here though. Ideally he should be able to support you and respect you in your decision. Also need to both let go of fear of judgment and reassure that it is about yourself and not an expectation of him. A partner should never judge you or hold you back from doing something to better yourself. Limitations may need to be established when it comes to support/enabling/blaming/worsening/hiding etc. assuming he continues to drink


by: janieb 1 year, 3 months ago
replying to janieb

That’s true, thanks you. Yes I’m so so so ready to quit, very excited about it. I hope this will inspire him as well to go on a better path, but if he doesn’t I’m still determined to pull my life back together. What do you do when you go out to a dinner party? How do you control yourself? What do I tell people?


by: Sue_Camarena 1 year, 3 months ago
replying to Sue_Camarena

Definitely have not mastered but ways I’ve tried in the past would just be to drink kombucha or something that was similar to a drink you liked and just sip so slowly so you always have a drink. I would tell people I was working that night or in morning shift work. But I have yet to figure out the self control……


by: janieb 1 year, 3 months ago
replying to janieb

Thanks for the advice.
I just quit smoking tobacco as well so I think it’ll be a good cover for me to tell people that I’m not drinking because then I would crave a cigarette (which is actually true).
Btw last night I told my husband that I quit smoking and drinking, he was very excited about the smoking 😂. I asked for his help to avoid certain situations like parties, bars , having friends over, etc so I can stick to my new convictions.
The kombucha idea is actually very good, thanks. I’ll try it on Friday because we have a business dinner that we couldn’t cancel at all, and in very nervous because there’s another couple which is also attending and we tend to party with them every now and then, but I believe that if I talk to the wife and tell her that I’m not drinking anymore she would find a way to help me wiggle out of the pressure of drinking. The host is AA, but his wife does drink so there’ll be booze for sure. I’m very nervous . Any advice for my first social outing after quitting?


by: Sue_Camarena 1 year, 3 months ago
replying to Sue_Camarena

2 substances at once! Though they tend to always be paired for me too. So strange that our society is thrilled to help you stop smoking but less so with alcohol.
But yes even if not kombucha but something that resembles the usual craving. Personally having a drink in hand was part of easing anxiety and no one will know or question what the drink is.
Probably not helpful but I always found the first social outing the easiest because you’re motivated and it’s productive anxiety.
This time it will probably help to have someone you know there but sadly it may become more difficult around the people you would comfortably drink with. You think “oh well I can control it they’re safe” but they’re also safe to overdo it with


by: janieb 1 year, 3 months ago
replying to janieb

Yes I found it curious as well. Honestly when I met him I was already a smoker, but I didn’t drink at all, maybe a glass of wine with my family during dinner every other weekend but that was it, I used to be a very disciplined, routine oriented person that practiced A LOT of sports everyday, so partying wasn’t really something that I was attracted to.
On the other side we started dating, fell madly in love and started going clubbing and partying with him because it was the only lifestyle he had practiced since he was 14, and he was/is a fish in a pond when it comes to nightlife and social outings… it was imposible for me to keep up with this lifestyle without wanting my bed by midnight and started feeling terrible because I wasn’t working out as much as I used to because obviously I was ALWAYS exhausted. I tried to pull him in to my way of living but it wasn’t attractive for him at all, so in order to fit in I started drinking, he never said anything to me regarding that but always was bugging me to quit smoking, and I actually did quit smoking for 3 years until we started planning our wedding and went back (it was a big big fight btw because he hates everything that has to do with smoking). I was a naive 23 year old girl that hadn’t lived much at that time, so I didn’t notice that I was dating and alcoholic until I became one myself. Ironic right?
Alcoholism runs in my mothers family and a few cases on my fathers side as well, but I had never worried about it because it wasn’t something that I was attracted to until it was, you know? A couple of years back I did a genetic test and turns out I have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism so maybe that’s the reason that I became sick so quickly.
I’ll let my friend that is also attending the diner party know this decision, which I’m sure she’ll be a great supporter because she knows that I’ve been very anxious for the past few months, and has been witness of the dynamic with my husband + booze because he tends to become aggressive past a certain point and wants to pick up fights with anyone who dares to blink in his direction, which has caused us quite a few discussions during our relationship amongst other other things that happen when he’s drunk. So I’m sure I won’t have to explain a lot to her, and she can help me through the night. It can even appear to be an act of solidarity with the AA host because everyone else I’m sure will be drinking at least wine.
I’ll try to level up my anxiety with Diet Coke or sparkling water because I’m also worried about gaining weight because of the smoking so I really need to stick to a routine and diet that will make my cortisol levels go down. On Tuesday I have therapy with my psychiatrist and she just changed my antidepressant last week, which also motivated me to quit now because I’ve been feeling so much better, I’ll let her know that I quit both substances in case she has any professional advice on it.
It’s 5:30 in the morning and I’ve been awake since 4:00am because of the anxiety and guilt of drinking this Saturday. And it was at an early Xmas lunch with my mothers family, 😕 I love them deeply but I’ll have to avoid them for a while because wine and booze are a big part of the dynamic when we get together.


by: Sue_Camarena 1 year, 3 months ago

Being mindful.i just think of how to step into my day first.i choose to pray and ask Jesus.


by: anonymous 1 year, 3 months ago
replying to anonymous

🙏🏼🤍


by: Sue_Camarena 1 year, 3 months ago