Putting down substance wasn’t easy but it was a lot easier than managing an eating disorder. Every now and then I fall back into old behaviour with this and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I have come a hell of a long way and apply the 12 steps to the ED as well, but just thought I’d create this topic for anyone needing support or wanting to connect in this subject as it’s so often forgotten about in recovery. The last time I acted on the Ed was about 3 days ago, but I’ve had months and even years of no acting out before. Wanting to get to that space again and I know how important community is. I’m here for anyone who wants to chat!
I think my ED is definitely related to stress and depression relief. If I gorge on kit kat bars, powdered donuts, white bread crusty, I feel like I probably get some kind of sugar Buzz that changes my feelings of depression and anxiety. Then I get the horrible guilt and remorse and physical hangover. I have been to OA. I am also very opposed to allowing myself to get fat
I was picked on for being fat and extremely overweight as an adolescent and child and I struggle to get the weight off. so I'm very conscious about my physical appearance. I think it probably relates to my sexual self-image as well.
I really like that you brought this up and it’s very strong of you! I know with my dysfunctional eating habits and body dysmorphia I struggle big time with it and especially when I get sober! I find my body is so malnourished in my active addiction and when I get clean and start eating properly my body clings to whatever it can get! I have to remind myself that I am still sick and that this disease doesn’t go away! When people tell me you look healthy, My brain hears you look fat! And it’s hard to live like this, do you have any advice for me? I was JUST shy of 90 days clean from narcotics and relapsed a few days ago because I felt like I was filling the void of drugs with food and when I took food away I was quite quick to replace that void with drugs, have you ever done the 12 steps around ED? Thanks for this post it was really cool to hear someone struggling with the same thing honestly,
Good for you for sharing. Yes I have tried OA (Overeaters Anonymous) which is a 12 step program for people with any eating disorder. I recommend googling a meeting near you. Getting a Sponsor in OA to go through the 12 steps would be definitely something to try. Also getting a list of support buddies who I can call before I binge eat or drink really helps.
Sending BIG love- I believe you can get to your 90 and beyond again! Yeah I’ve done EDA which was really great, now working with a recovery coach which has been super helpful- I found that there weren’t a lot of recovered role models in the meetings for EDs, so turning to a coach who was fully recovered really helped me and has been what I’ve been finding a lot of progress in. Also recommitting to my spiritual practises has been great. My BF said the other day that I need to see how far I’ve come rather than beat up on the small slips! Trying to act in self compassion here! Thanks for the message x
I get this- did you know that the body actually uses food to calm the nervous system- so using it as stress relief makes sense. What’s really helped me is learning how to regulate my nervous system so that I reach to healthy coping mechanisms during stress. I didn’t resonate with OA, it’s too restrictive and ends me binging and feeling unbalanced, EDA was a better space for me - but happy that you have found a space that feels right for you! ❤️
Great post & I can really resonate. I’m currently working towards getting abstinent and have returned to OA
The disordered eating for me keeps resurfacing and the disease of addiction sneaks back in over and over again in spite of being sober since 2010… I’m beaten now and want to reclaim myself from this cycle… wishing you the best and thanks for sharing… how have you been feeling since you posted?