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Changing Habits Process

created by: Grateful 3 months ago

One. I have the habit of reading the Forum each morning over coffee in the kitchen for 10 years.
Two. My wife suddenly comes into the kitchen where I have been reading peacefully in solitude because she has had a change of schedule in her volunteer job.
Three. I put up with her interrupting my reading for three days.
Four. I hold my breath until she finally leaves and then explode in Rage because I have not been able to continue my habit.
Five. I resolve that I can only change myself I cannot change her.
Six. I explore ways to change myself. Seven. I remember that I have another place in the house where I can take my coffee and enjoy my solitude.
Eight. I congratulate myself at not going into a rage at her because none of this was her fault and even if it was she does not need to or deserve to be subjected to any rage.

Now, here is the problem. How am I going to remember tomorrow morning to go to the new place? Indeed it takes pain in order for me to change. I had to go through the crisis of flipping over my car to admit that I was an alcoholic and needed to change. Yeah, the greatest problem in changing, is remembering to stick to the new plan. I've seen so many people commit to a new plan and forget to do it because they did not give it the necessary energy to create a new habit. It takes at least 90 days daily to change a habit. Therefore, I encourage everyone who reads this to commit to picking up the Forum here for 90 straight days. I encourage all new people to go to 90 straight recovery meetings daily in order to change. I hope and pray that everyone realizes that it's easy to suddenly commit to change, but it is hard to keep the new habit which must be created in order to substitute for the old habit. Once the new habit is developed, the case being my sobriety practices, I have continued to do daily recovery practices, 3 recovery meetings per week and more to maintain this wonderful way of life.

by: Grateful 3 months ago
replying to Grateful

Thank you Grateful! WHEW, habits are so so hard for me. I have gotten better in sobriety though.

I will commit to the challenge.

by: Nakia 3 months ago
replying to Grateful

Thanks for this post, I needed to hear this. I am 78 days sober today and struggling hard .

by: Tanis 2 months, 4 weeks ago

I appreciate your honesty in your posting
and can relate totally, outstanding dedication,I commend you on your self-control and Reflections of the situation
Remembing Anything is better than isolation, non communication and using again
you will and your higher power will work this out. We need you😇🤗🙏

by: Pambfree 3 months ago

I go in with hope that some little thing can also be a trigger to bring in new continuously. Sometimes it works, sometimes it takes a bit more nudging to adapt into it. Change one thing that can mark the start of new. Like, picking a different coffee cup. Just a symbolic gesture, wish it were like a using an acronym to unravel knowledge.

In getting sober, had a thing about starting to eat breakfast, making fresh juice, saying new prayers, in hope it would be a different day again when I don't drink... just started with one or two different things that i knew I could do and which would remind me to work on this new thing.

And now for something completely different, .... about being grateful: am travelling through Saxony in Germany. Yesterday I was in Goerlitz on German-Polish border and dropped my new phone on asphalt, it went dark instantly. Couldn't take any more pictures of this beautiful historic town, and then it snowed for half hour, which for me was thrilling to watch, however - no pictures. So I spun about their cathedral, marvelling at the snow flakes and gothic ornaments, waiting for it to open. But no pictures, no maps, no tickets.

I was thankful that I didn't slip on wet cobblestones and injured myself. Was thankful that I am sober, not panicking now, and my memory is working like a ticker. I studied a map of Gorlitz when making my itineraries so had no need for google maps.  Was thankful that I had taken the time to print all of my train and museum tickets, and had taken my old phone to use as an alarm clock. Was thankful that I found a person who could spare a paperclip that I can transfer the phone card later. I don't speak German, but evidently I have good miming skills.

Oh, and I managed to lock myself out of my room this morning. So had an hour to spare before the staff arrives and observe one of those things I fear the most, being helpless, a mild form really, and how I react there. After a bit of self pity, just waited patiently and prayed, a morning as usual. When the staff arrived they asked how long I was locked out, said one hour. They smiled, 'oh good it's not the whole night.' So i can be grateful too. :)

Having this application reminds me to be grateful more often.

Thanks for listening and being here. Have a nice day! :)

by: Vita2037 3 months ago
replying to Vita2037

Thinking and praying for your safe and happy travels Vita! I loved reading your story of acceptance, adaptation, gratitude, flexibility, perspective, and connection to a Higher Power! You are a shining powerful example today of going with the flow to stay sober and not ruin your trip!! We have this moment and you may have made your moments without the phone more valuable and joyous than they would have been with the phone. Connecting with someone to get a staple while miming in a foreign land is absolutely classic! Thanks too about arranging little things in my environment to help remind me of new habits. ❤️ prayers.

by: Grateful 3 months ago
replying to Grateful

Thank you! 😃

by: Vita2037 3 months ago

So, I also need to make amend by explaining to wife I am not trying to avoid her, but just need this moment alone.

by: Grateful 3 months ago
replying to Grateful

How did that go?

by: Nakia 3 months ago