Please answer below so all of us struggling can see it causes more harm than good.
I’ll go first: I lost my job, I didn’t want to be alive anymore, and it almost made me lose the love of my life.
Please answer below so all of us struggling can see it causes more harm than good.
I suffered health issues, including memory loss and increased Lupus activity. I gained a significant amount of weight, which made it harder on my joints. I was reprimanded at my job, including losing pay. I lost the trust of my family, and I had friends distance themselves from me. My relationship with my sister was really strained.
So grateful to be sober today. It is possible.
Thank you for sharing, it is so inspirational to hear. God bless.
I stopped drinking because it was absolutely needed. Throughout my life there has been many situations blacking out, getting myself into crazy dangerous situations but becoming a mother in 2021 and continuing to drink off and on way too much really opened my eyes. I can’t black out when I have a child to care for. 3 months after my son turned 1 I got sober. He is way too important and a billion times more important then alcohol. I’m 14.5 months sober now :)
Thanks Grateful!! 😊
What made me finally decide to quit was the realization that my alcoholism was progressing to the next level. It was already at a frightening level to begin with. I started drinking when I was 16 going to heavy metal concerts back in the late 80's. That's when the seed was planted. We thought it was cool to drink before the concerts.
I was in the US Army, and I would still drink then, but it was more like binge drinking and not everyday. I ended up getting divorced about 6 months before I got out. My drinking started to progress then. I almost got in trouble at the end, but I was always a good soldier and they basically looked the other way. I still wasn't an everyday drinker at this point, but I was abusing it when i did drink.
It steadily progressed through the years to eventually becoming an every night occurrence. I would drink myself to sleep. I was unable to sleep without it. My GABA levels were in the toilet and I needed alcohol to sleep. Through this time, I was able to earn degrees in both EE and Computer Science despite my drinking problem. I would simply study all day and drink at night.
I convinced myself that I didn't have a problem if I was able to earn college degrees (earning a 3.4 and a 4.0 GPA), work a full time job and pay my bills. Oh boy, was I wrong. This worked until it didn't. As I got older, I noticed that the drinking was taking a significant toll on my mental health. The hangovers now were debilitating with tremendous anxiety for a week or more. It was and is awful.
The turning point for me was not being able to type in a password at work because of the shakes. Where I work I have to login constantly to computer systems. A safeguard is put in place to randomly reset a password. To do this you have to go and get the temporary password and then reset your password in front of other people (security people).
I shook so bad that I was unable to do it. I lied and said it was anxiety medication that was causing it. The next time I tried to enter the password I was able to do it but just barley. You have to use a password that is 15 characters long with alpha numeric entries, that cannot be a combination of the last 20 passwords you used previously. It's difficult to do anyways, nevermind the severe anxiety laden shakes. That was a real wakeup call for me.
I realized that I could no longer hide it. I was a real mess. I could not sleep without alcohol. If I drank I would have the shakes to the point of not being able to control my hands in front of other people. It was a real nightmare. It was extremely embarrassing. My mental and physical health was deteriorating. I developed gout and numbness in some of my toes from nerve damage and B vitamin malnutrition. The numbness is most likely permanent damage.
It progressed to the point that I was going to have to start drinking in the morning before work to combat the shakes and other nasty hangover symptoms. I was a real mess. That is when I decided to come clean with my employer and go to rehab. Rehab has really helped me, but I do sill struggle with slips and relapses from time to time. This is a bitch of a disease and I have suffered tremendously.
If I had to do it over again, I would go back in time and tell the 16 year old me to put the beer down and go to the concert sober. I know I can't do that, so I'm going to use my mistakes and learn from them. That's all we can really do. If you fall, get back up and dust yourself off. Today is a new day.
Thank you for reading and have a great weekend.
I was starting to get out of control, not caring if I was late for work, bailing out on plans, not looking after myself properly. I didn't even realise I had a problem because I was actually focused on giving up cocaine, and ended up substituting alcohol for that, which was actually worse, as I was unable to function as well. It was actually my boss, whose husband is a recovering alcoholic who sat me down and said I can recognise the signs, just be honest, what's going on, and I broke down and realised that the alcohol had become way worse than the cocaine. I had already tried to take my own life and was so lonely, alcohol filled the hole. But now 39 days clean (apart from 1 sip of a €300 bottle of champagne; only time I will ever get to taste that) I am getting stronger, and more comfortable in my own company every day. It's bloody hard though!!!
Yes it is, no one said it would be easy but they did say it would be worth it. Let’s keep going together 💪
@Blondi. It's the sip of $300 bottle of champagne that kills us. I would encourage you to reset your sobriety date. You don't want to give yourself or anyone else the license to pick up the irst drink because even if it does not lead to many now, it will eventually if we have the mindset that we can get away with it. This disease us cunning, baffling and powerful. Care about you too much not to call you out on this. A $300 bottle if champagne is as deadly as the MD 20/20 I used to drink from the gas station store.
Hi Grateful! Appreciate your point of view, but I am not going to reset my clock, I chose to taste it, and I chose not to drink any more of it and to continue not picking any alcohol moving forward, so I don't feel I have slipped, I made a decision to do it, move on from it and have maintained control afterwards!
"Lack of power, that was our dilemma." P. 45 of Big Book. I had to do 12 steps to stay sober. First step was admission of lack of control and unmanageability. From this admission, a new kind of sobriety with freedom and happiness has blossomed. I don't have to fight alcohol with a will power that always eventually failed.
What's the big book?
You can get one at an AA meeting. It’s the text book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Have a great day!
Hi Blondii, thank you for sharing. I'm so glad you are here. Please continue to post and let us know how you are. Addictions are powerful. They sneak up on you at the most unexpected times.
When I first started getting sober (it took a couple of years, out patient and in patient rehab before I got the hang of it), I experienced relapses that began with a seemingly innocuous event. With time I became more sensitive to what I was feeling and could do a better job of understanding my weak spots.
I hope you have a good day.
I attacked my husband with our child in his arms and went to jail for the weekend. Before that, a few years ago I jumped out of a car going 45 mph. I'm sober 24 days and counting now.
Thank you for sharing I know how difficult it can be. We are glad you are here! Congratulations on 24 days.
So glad you are here Kay! How are you today?
There came a point in my drinking that I realized I was out of control. I have severe spinal issues with limited mobility. One fall could leave me paralyzed. Fortunately, I stopped making excuses for myself and came to AA.
Fantastic decision Mike, glad you are here and sharing your story for others. Recovery wouldn’t be possible without individuals like yourself shedding a light on the dangers of substances.