I fell of the wagon again the last two days after being abstient for almost a month. I have the hangover feels today and wiped out, but I dont want to go back to the life I had where I was choosing to avoid reality. I was triggered by an event at work where I felt like I disappointed my boss, even though his second incharge gave me the wrong instructions and I told him and they were both apologenic. I know it wasnt my fault and he realised that, I just couldnt seem to shake the feeling that I suddenly looked incompetent. Just getting this off my chest as I want to get back on the road to sobriety and hoping other people can relate and what tools they used to ride the wave.
Starting again today
created by: CJ 5 years, 6 months ago
I can totally relate. I did meetings everyday and told my Sponsor. I accepted that I could not stay clean without the help of others. I called others when I felt shaken (even before I had a craving to use). I started reading a message a day from SoberTool. I learned to forgive others and to forgive myself. I accepted this imperfect World as it is and not as I would have it be. I committed to show up at meetings not only to help myself but to be a good example to others. I started to do daily prayer even though I struggled with faith, asked my Higher Power each morning to keep me sober."
I know this post was last month but I can really relate to your post CJ. I often identify triggers at work. It can be hard to shake but we owe it ourselves to keep working at it. Hope you are doing better.
Good luck CJ! Keep persisting with it.