You can't help it if someone or something throws you for a loop. Everyone gets overwhelmed and frustrated. No matter how much you think you can control your feelings, no matter how well adjusted you think you are, no matter how well you practice the 12 steps, every now and then something will happen that will upset you. The key is to not let that bird build a nest in your head. People, places, and things cannot control your emotions. They are just emotional triggers. Remember, you make yourself feel a certain way in response to the trigger. You can also quickly change how you respond. By doing what it takes to get the bird off your head, you will avoid finding yourself saying, "If I get drunk, I won't be able to think about it."
What's a good way to get that bird to fly away? Try to recognize your feeling, and then try to change the bad feeling to a positive feeling. To do so, take a personal inventory and see where your own sensitivity may be contributing to your pain. Then substitute the negative thought with a healing thought plus a healing action. For example, if you feel resentful, substitute resentment with empathy. Hope that the person who caused you the resentment heals. Then try to redirect your attention by helping someone. By getting out of yourself and helping another, you will likely forget about your resentment. The key to getting the bird to fly away rather than building a nest is to find your issue (which you can change), not the issue in the other person (which you can't do anything about). Remember,, relapsing will only feeds the bird and help him build his nest in your head. Another way to change a bad feeling to a positive feeling is to type the name of the bad feeling into the Search bar of this app. This app will then lead you to advice on how to change your feeling. You can also ask yourself if the trigger is worth being upset about. You can also try turning the bad feeling over to a Higher Power. That Higher Power may be a consultation with a sponsor or a therapist.