Are you too skeptical or distrustful? Are you spending too much time trying to figure out why bad things are happening to you? Try taking a look at your drinking, drug, gambling, spending, internet, eating and other habits and ask yourself if any could be contributing to your problems. If you can answer "yes" or "maybe," see an addictions counselor for an assessment or renew your recovery program. But if you find yourself trying to figure out what the meaning of life is or why random tragedies occur, you may be asking "why" too often. You may be causing yourself to be overwhelmed by thinking about issues which no human is fully capable of resolving. These mental committee meetings may be causing you to become indecisive and confused and what the Big Book describes as "restless, irritable and discontent." This state of mind is one step away from either an emotional or actual relapse.
To relax and stay clean and sober, remember that often only God (or some force beyond our intellectual understanding) knows why. We are not capable of knowing all the reasons. Pray to God and ask Him to let you do the next right thing. He will take care of the rest. Repeat the chant, "I just don't get it, cried I, throwing my arms up against the sky, You're not supposed to, He did reply, You're not supposed to, He did reply."