My friend hated God because his Father committed suicide. "How would God let this happen?" thought my friend. In recovery, I have learned two main things about God. First, God can be anything that restores you to sanity. God does not have to be a religious God. It is a discipline one adheres to, especially when things seem bad. For example, I may need to call a friend who will tell me not to use drugs if I am struggling. For that moment, God is the power to call and listen to my friend. On other ocassions, I may need to help someone who is struggling. For that moment God is the power to do a loving act because that loving act restores me to sanity. The second thing I have learned about God is that there is a difference between Life and God. Life includes people, places, human choices, Nature, other's mistakes, my mistakes, my disease, geological vicissitudes, etc. God (that loving, powerful force) is there to help me deal with Life, and God will if I don't let my ego tell me I need to control the situation alone, without turning to that Higher Power. God or Help or Good Orderly Drection will let me be at peace and not have to turn Life's issues into terrible consequences due to my returning to drinking or drugging or otherwise acting out. Remember, God is an all encompassing term in 12 step programs which is defined as any power that will restore you to sanity in that moment. So don't get hung up on the word God. No one in any 12 step program can foist his or her own definition of God on you!
Instead of blaming God today, I will ask God for strength to stay sober to deal with Life and to be grateful.