Don't accept invitations to pity parties

Be aware of what gives you self pity. For example, many feel sad just because they are around sad people. Yet this does not have to be the case. Don’t let others bring you down. Instead, make it your job to be the one they turn to in order to feel better. “Be the light of the world.” Another invitation to sadness is to decide, “I’ll be happy when something happens.” Allowing yourself to be happy when you make a million dollars or sell your screenplay or move to Wyoming is possibly the worst attitude you can have. It is a prescription for misery for you and everyone around you. Instead make a decision to change your attitude now so that you can be happy now. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore sad feelings. In fact, if you just gloss over, deny or ignore your sad moments, they will affect you sometime in some way. It is better to admit you are sad and immediately take steps to deal with the sadness in a healthy way. It’s okay to be sad. But don’t wallow in it until it matures into self-pity or misery. Do something (examples are prayer and sharing) to leave that pity party.


Today I will remember that sadness is inevitable but misery is optional. Examples of healthy ways to deal with sadness are: (1) call a trusted friend and, after asking for a few minutes of his or her time, tell the friend that you are feeling sad and why you are feeling sad. It is often said in therapy sessions that “a problem shared is a problem halved.” Note that talking to another in such a way makes the other person feel important. (2) say a prayer to your Higher Power. Try something like “Dear God, I feel sad because... Please take this sadness from me.” This faith can lead you in the right direction. (3) Try doing something creative like painting a picture or playing an instrument or just sing along with a favorite song or try to find a new one. (4) “Scrub the floor” and straighten up that apartment. (5) Email someone who is lonely; (6) What else can you think of that is positive? Whatever you do, don't pick up the first drink or drug.