You don't get punished for being angry, you get punished by being angry


Anger can cause us to act in harmful ways. Sometimes we get punished by society for those angry actions, but often we may not. However, we seem to punish ourselves by being angry because anger more often than not tends to be a painful, negative emotion. Anger, whether righteous or not, is the feeling that you are not getting your way now. The problem with anger is that "it comes on so suddenly." This is why daily practice to deal with anger is so critical. Doing the third step or eleventh step to start the day is essential to align one's will with your Higher Power's will. Remember your Higher Power can be, but does not have to be, a religious God. It could be described as your Higher Self - a set of principles that the best, most peaceful you chooses to live by, like understanding rather than resentment, love rather than fear, acceptance that conflict exists and you don't have to get angry about this unavoidable reality. This alignment  with your Higher Power (or Higher Self) removes stress induced by our small minded, egotistically imbalanced desires. Second, throughout the day, taking breaks every three hours to breathe slowly reduces the stress associated with living life like an overwhelmed juggernaut. These breathing breaks should be done before anger sets in and even on peaceful days. This proactive methodology (Higher Power connection and breathing breaks) must become a habit. If anger starts, pick up the phone and share the feeling with a safe person (Sponsor, friend, therapist) as soon as possible. The more anger builds, the more harm it can do to you and your relationships. Finally, as a last resort, always have an anger escape plan. For many, it's removal from the situation (Examples: "I need to go to the restroom,"  "I need to make a call."). If venting is necessary, a good place to do so includes yelling in one's parked car. Better to be slightly embarrassed by having to leave suddenly than to let anger dictate behavior which may be irreparable. If we don't deal with anger in a healthy way, it can lead us to relapse.


Deal with anger proactively even if you are not angry. If angry, share your anger with a safe person. Get anger out in safe ways.