This means that I must change.
All the willpower in the World will not keep me sober if I don't change from a drinking/drugging person to a non-drinking/non-drugging person. The most accepted, most effective way to change is to live the 12 steps. This has recently been proven by Harvard and Stanford in a large, valid study. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/11/upshot/alcoholics-anonymous-new-evidence.html
Here's a video where the article's authors talk about their methods and conclusions.
Doesn't it make sense to at least try doing the 12 steps? There is no downside. You will keep all the good things about you, but change the drinking things about you. It has worked for me a day at a time for 31 years. Even if you feel confident that you won't pick up the first drink or drug, you still need to practice a daily recovery program because the personality issues that led you to use never totally disappear. And if they have seemed to disappear, they may return if you do not keep them at bay by practicing the steps and going to meetings. Some say that putting down the drink and drug only changes your breath if you do not change your personality. Using alcohol/drugs is a symptom of a personality disorder. We need to remember to keep doing what works because our disease is arrested but not cured.
Ask yourself what you are doing on a daily basis to stay clean and sober. Using the SoberTool app and following the Anonymous programs like AA, NA, etc. allow you to change from a using peron to a truly sober person. A sober person is happy and free from the bondage of addiction. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be free. Love you!