You can't help it if someone throws you for a loop. No matter how much you think you can control your feelings, no matter how well adjusted you think you are, ocassionally something will happen that will upset or overwhelm you. The key is not to let that bird that landed on your head build a nest. People, places, and things cannot control your emotions. They are just emotional triggers. They are like a bird that out of nowhere drops on your head. Remember, YOU can make the bird fly away by how you respond to it. If you respond with resentment, that bird will build a tangled nest in your head.
What's a good way to get that bird to fly away? One way is to recognize your immediate feeling, and then change the bad feeling to a positive feeling. To do so, you can type the name of the bad feeling into the search bar of this app where you can find advice on how to change it. You can also ask yourself if the trigger is worth being upset about. You can also try applying the 12 steps to the feeling. First, admit that you are powerless to handle it without help. Then, turn the problem over to a Higher Power. That Higher Power may be a consultation with a sponsor, a therapist, a wise friend, etc. Maybe take a personal inventory of your sensitivities to determine where they may be contributing to the problem. Sometimes we resent people who actually may be trying to help us. So be open minded and try to see if there is any truth to someone else's criticism or suggestions. Try to find your defect and not the defect in the person you think is causing the problem. Once you find the defect, concentrate on letting it fly away into the universe or ask God or a loving force to remove it. Importantly, don't take the person causing the resentment personally. Sometimes the person is sick and may actually need your hope, prayers, and help to heal. Sometimes your own selfish will is the bird. Remember to ask God that His will be done, not yours (live good moral principles). Another good way to get the bird to fly away is to help someone who is new to recovery. By getting out of yourself and helping another, you will feel less resentful and angry and you may recognize that your problem is not as bad as the other person's. You may gain perspective. Your attention will be re-focused. By doing what it takes to get the bird off your head, you will avoid finding yourself saying, "If I get drunk, I won't be able to think about it."