Too long I have been running the show and where did it get me? Wasted again. I have trouble giving up control over just about anything, including my recovery program, parents, children, plans, results.... Maybe if I just let go this time, I will receive some information that will help. It is worth a try. I will try being the RECEIVER rather than the DIRECTOR. Perhaps the main obstacle to letting go is my self-centered fear. Perhaps it is my addictive mind trying to get me to relapse again. Perhaps it is just my ego telling me that I know better than they do even though they are professionals or successful or happy or trouble free and I am not a professional, not happy, not successful and certainly not trouble free. For now I will try to quiet my fear, ego and addictive mind and give myself the day off.
Today I am going to listen to what someone in recovery (like my Sponsor, counselor, or friend) suggests and not try to overule their opinion with what I want to do. Especially if I am feeling as if I may want to pick up a drink or a drug, I will call someone and tell them how I am feeling and ask them for direction. I am going to relax and give myself a much needed break.