If we resent them, they rule us

"When we resent someone or something, we unknowingly allow that person or thing to control us." Emotions Anonymous.

Do you want someone who may have wronged you to rule you? Then keep carrying around your hatred for that person. Every moment you resent someone, that person exercises POWER over your mood. They continue to hurt you long after they acted. How do you get rid of resentment? Substitute resentment with FORIVENESS and UNDERSTANDING. For example, imagine that someone who hates your dog got bitten. Or that the person may be mentally or physically ill. Or that someone who abuses you was abused. Set HEALTHY BOUNDARIES to protect yourself, but don't feed the resentment. Another way to exercise understanding is to remember that we humans are all FLAWED. Instead of dwelling on the other person's flaws, take a look at your own without beating yourself up.  If you can't FORGIVE or UNDERSTAND them, hope that the person heals so that the evil act can never be done again, then avoid ENABLING the other person's sick behavior and move on with your own life without obsessing on the person. Don't carry the baggage of hatred and anger against the person or that person will just continue to weigh upon you.


Today, remove resentment by getting help to develop skills to let it go. The first step to getting help may be to consult with  a 12 step Sponsor or someone who can help you substitute resentment with empathy, understanding, and healthy boundaries. Remember the Big Book says "resentment is our number one offender," and we do not want to pick up the first drink or drug over a pointless resentment. Get rid of resentment to be free!