We become truly sober when we do not fear being vulnerable, when we drop the false images and facades that we struggle to show others for fear of not being accepted. Serenity grows as we shed the defenses, fears and resentments we use to protect our egos. We begin positive change when we allow our true selves to emerge and get to the core of who we really are beneath the layers of ego defenses. This takes courage because it can feel risky to peel away the onion skins and to look at our core. But once we do, then we can take the steps to free ourselves from the sickness and baggage that comprise those onion skins. The reward is great because once we shed those facades, fears and resentments, we find liberation. We see that our core freed from defenses is a being that can feel without the need to escape through drugs or acting out.
Today I will be honest with myself and make a careful examination of the defenses I use to protect my ego. I will honestly examine what is holding me back from being myself and feeling true feelings. I will open up and share something about myself at a recovery meeting, with a therapist, Sponsor, or friend. I will not be worried or afraid. At my core, I will know that I am a fearless, loving, decent person who has nothing to lie about or hide. I will value my sobriety because I know that to relapse only hinders my ever knowing who I truly am.