What can I do to stop this foolishness?

So I'm going to try this app because I know I won't come out and attend AA meetings. The fear of seeing someone I know, being exposed, the humiliation... Why, why, why is it that I have the best intentions and come Friday I have no control??? I hate myself the next day and don't drink a drop. Come Sunday I often indulge again. Monday brings new hope but oh boy, then comes the end of the week again and I disappoint myself again. What is wrong with me?? What can I do to stop this foolishness?

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To-do:

REPLY: Nothings wrong with you. But you think something is so you are ashamed to let anyone know you are human and have a problem. You are so ashamed that you won't even go to meetings where others have the same problem and want to give and get help from you. It's the SHAME that is causing you to continually relapse. There is no reason to be ashamed over a disease. It's not your fault you have it. Does this make sense to you?

 

Check: https://www.amazon.com/One-Minute-Serenity-Revised-Strategies/dp/B0BNVF9Q44