Your girlfriend leaves. You get hit by a car. Your boss treats you unfairly. Pain is inevitable, but misery does not have to occur because we have tools to deal with the pain so that it passes. First, we need to remember that picking up a drink or drug only makes the problem worse. We can then pray, call someone, say the serenity prayer, practice the 12 steps, exercise gratitude and perspective and - probably most effective of all - get out of ourselves by getting into helping someone else. We are never alone unless we choose to be, and choosing to isolate is a bad choice because isolating usually turns pain into misery.
As soon as pain occurs, I will accept the feeling and quickly pick up a tool of recovery. I will remember that the process of dealing successfully with pain begins with knowing that a drink or drug only makes the pain turn into misery.