Stop fighting and try Wisdom
I have been sober for 35 years and I have more interpersonally, emotionally, intellectually, and materially than I could have ever imagined. During that time, I have regularly attended recovery meetings, volunteered at treatment centers, professionally counselled people of all ages individually and in group settings, have facilitated hundreds of interventions and delivered hundreds of speeches. I have created a recovery app that helps thousands every day. I mention this not to brag but so that you might take heed of what I am about to tell you if you want to improve your life and see if a period of sobriety may be a part of that improvement.
During those 35 years, I have been almost daily exposed to troubled, confused souls who cannot believe his or her own actions, who vow to stop those self-defeating actions, and who cannot. Even though their troubles worsen, they typically tell me that they know what they have to do to improve. They typically believe the answer is SELF-DISCIPLINE, KNOWLEDGE, or MATERIALISM, or INTELLECT, or MATURITY, or CONTROLLING OTHERS, or SELF-CONTROL, or CHANGING JOBS, SPOUSES, or ENVIRONMENTS.
BUT NONE OF THESE BELIEFS WORK ALONE.
IT"S NOT DISCIPLINE OR SELF CONTROL THAT KEEPS ONE SOBER. Countless times I have heard relapsing people say, "I just need to fight drinking harder?"... "Next time I will remember to control myself better."..."I will never do that again."..."Now that I am in jail, I finally realize."..."I am just going to keep my mind busy doing other things." These solutions don't work.
IT'S NOT KNOWLEDGE THAT KEEPS ONE SOBER. "Now that I know it was alcohol that was my problem, I can just remember that and stop." This knowledge does not keep one sober.
IT'S NOT THE PROBABILITY OF BAD CONSEQUENCES THAT KEEPS ONE SOBER. I have seen many people relapse who say, "I'm sure I won't use because I am going to fail a drug test."
IT'S NOT THE PROBABILITY OF GOOD CONSEQUENCES THAT KEEPS ONE SOBER. I have seen many people relapse who say, "if I don't drink, I will keep my job."
IT IS NOT THE ATTAINMENT OF MATERIAL POSSESSIONS THAT KEEPS ONE SOBER. I have seen many people relapse who say, "Once my money troubles subside, I won't need to smoke pot to relieve the pressure."..."Once I get a car as fancy as my neighbor's car, I will feel on par with my neighbor and less likely to feel bad about myself which made me drink."
IT IS NOT RELIGION THAT KEEPS ONE SOBER. "I'll read the Bible everyday, but I won't change."
THE SOLUTION IS WISDOM!
Wisdom is living in BALANCE and getting back in BALANCE when thrown off balance. Wisdom is defined as the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment so that one can make a sound action or decision. There are many forces that compete with wisdom. Typically they involve bad habits born from character defects.
Wisdom involves daily attention to good habits which nurture one's mind, body, emotions, spirit, and social life. A balanced day, for example, could involve lifting weights, reading, meditation, prayer, getting together with friends, solitude, music, altruistic acts, and work.
Wisdom allows us to avoid being afraid, discouraged or anxious. Wisdom allows us to do the next right thing each moment.
To-do:
Today I will rely on wisdom to stay sober. I will remember to stay in BALANCE. To stay sober, I will wise up.
Check: https://tinyurl.com/oneminserenity