The Parable of the Angel and the Imp
A companion in my AA group was hospitalized 33 times, and was homeless for 10 years.
He had several relapses, but now often participates in the meetings.
His testimonies always strengthen everyone.
I once heard a parable from him:
A boy saw a man threatening to jump from a bridge. On one side of the man was an angel and on the other side a devlish imp.
The little angel pled with the man not to jump, but the evil imp remained silent, calm, stoic.
Curious, the boy asked the imp why it did not try to persuade the man to jump?
The imp replied with a devlish smile "He's in doubt, he's on the fence, he's already mine ..."
I just completed 4 years and 2 months of sobriety and the consecutive period that I missed recovery meetings was 7 days between Christmas and New Years 2 years ago. On the seventh day, I wasn't even thinking about drinking when I opened the fridge and saw a bottle. Out of nowhere I thought “I'm so serene, so Zen, so at peace, can't I have a few drinks safely, can't I control it?”
I went back to meetings right away because I knew how quickly such a thought could grow. The relapse does not start on the first drink, it ends the same.
I definitely do not want to go back to where I have been. I want to stay lucid and serene. Escaping from reality only increased my problems.
We are together. Peace & Light
Today I will deepen my acceptance of my addiction without shame or guilt. I refuse to live on a fence with my legs painfully dangling over each side. I resolve to renew my recovery program.