An addict is someone who wants to be held while isolating

Addicts seem to be in a continual state of emotional conflict. We want that which is impossible. We want to be loved, but we don't want anyone to bother us. I would spend hours drinking alone in a crowded bar, staring straight ahead, facing only my beer, refusing to talk to anyone, thinking how mean everyone was around me for ignoring me. It's all about them understanding us and not about us understanding them. Once we get into recovery, we find that the way we stay sober is to try to be less "self" oriented and more "other" oriented. We spend more time being understanding of others. This actually makes us less fearful and anxious. It is a happier way to live. You deserve happiness!

Also, just because we put down the drink or drug, doesn't mean that we immediately lose emotional conflicts. We still may feel as if we want to isolate. It's OK to be alone, but isolating ends up making us just feel lonely and afraid. We need to gain balance. It is therefore a good idea to socialize. Getting to 12 step meetings is a great way to socialize. 


If you can relate to the above, this is an indication that you are suffering from addiction. Try to get into recovery and try to remember that it is better to understand others than to expect them to understand you. It is also a great idea to learn how to socialize. It's OK to open up about your true feelings at 12 step meetings and to let others know who you truly are. This will make you feel less lonely and less self conscious.